My 1:1 client Charlotte is an exceptionally experienced and talented professional, with extremely high standards. What an asset to her organisation! And yet those high standards can have a dark side – Charlotte constantly felt she had to do everything herself, which had a knock on effect on others.
Charlotte came for coaching on the recommendation of her director, who had seen the impact of coaching with me on other managers and team leaders within her organisation. The constant feeling that Charlotte had to do everything herself had a knock on effect on others – when we first spoke about coaching, trust had started to erode within the team. What to do?
Charlotte and I worked together over 6 months to give her the space to explore her values, her priorities and, using the Emotions & Behaviours at Work diagnostic, her working preferences around decision making, around structure and how she approaches leadership. Importantly we looked at both how this felt for Charlotte but how it showed up for others, and when choosing another approach might be helpful. Our coaching included reflecting on the big questions of what’s my role here, what’s the most important thing? To the nitty gritty detail of email management.
This is what Charlotte says about her experience:
“Coaching has allowed me to stop, reflect and take a more considered approach to my work. I no longer run, trying to do everything because I believe only I know how to do things. I am surrounded by a fabulous team who trust me and in who I have trust which enables me to pass things on to them. Enabling others has allowed me to find the space for the bigger things. The coaching has allowed me to see that there is a more joined-up approach within the team, one of sharing and good communication, a team on which I can rely.”
And the positive impact of coaching doesn’t just extend to the team around us, but to ourselves, how we view ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, our self compassion. Charlotte says:
“I have learned to value myself, to sort out in my head the important from the not so important stuff, to walk, to listen, to trust others. I don’t have to spin plates to prove myself. I don’t think I had recognised that I had come from an organisation whose very public challenges had a really traumatic effect on me, leaving me panicked and feeling responsible. Coaching made me realise that it is not the responsibility of one person to get things right, we are a team, we have experts, and we work as a team.”
Charlotte was sceptical about coaching when we began. This is really normal – when your manager suggests something like coaching it can feel like we have been sent to the naughty step to figure something out. But nothing could be further from the truth. In my 11 years of coaching, I’ve only come across managers who invest in coaching for their team because they believe in them, they see their talent and they know coaching will help that talent flourish.
A final word on coaching from Charlotte:
“Coaching with Jen has been one of the best things I have done and I am extremely grateful for this experience. I remember after the first session I felt exhausted, so many questions I had to ask myself, so many false beliefs I had to challenge. The space between sessions gives you time to reflect and put in some kind of order what changes you know, deep down, you need to make. I have come away feeling capable, confident, and with more self-belief than I thought possible. I thanked Jen for this but she told me I had done it. If you are lucky enough to be able to have one-to-one coaching with Jen, give it your all, and you will reap the rewards…”
