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Are you getting the right kind of rest?

Are you getting enough sleep but you’re still tired? Do you want the world to stop for a bit so you can have a nice sit down and a cup of tea?

When the kids break off from school I always look at this time as a kind of rest, as I pause work. Ah – lovely – I think. My brain can have a lovely mental rest. And I always forget – school holidays are not a rest. They are simply a different way of being, with different demands on my time and energy. I might be having a mental rest from the focused work of coaching, but am I having a sensory rest? No…… because I’m being asked for snacks and screen time continuously for a whole week.

If you’re taking breaks but are still tired, it may be that it’s a different kind of rest you need. Over Christmas I read about the work of Saundra Dalton-Smith MD and her work around the 7 types of rest and it really helped me be more intentional about what kinds of downtime I need in my week, so I thought I’d share that with you:

The first we know about – physical rest.

This might look like sleep, or some gentle yoga (I’m a huge massage junkie so I’m 100% on board with this one!)

Next, Mental rest.

This is quietening the brain, doing something mindful – for me that’s gardening or sorting the washing. If that doesn’t do it, I’ll do a spot of EFT and tap to quieten the chatter.

Next up – Sensory rest!

Life can feel like we are in one great big giant kids party in the most colourful and noisy soft play centre ever – all the data we receive from our devices, from Slack, Teams, Zoom, Whatsapp. Argh… stop the bus I want to get off. Sensory rest can look like unplugging or muting the noise. For me it looks like cooking tea in peace without even Evan Davis on Radio 4 for company. Actual quiet. No screens.

If you’re struggling for motivation and you’ve used up all your creativity on that perplexing work problem, maybe it’s time for a…

Creative rest.

This is anything that inspires you to feel curious, or awe, about the world around you. I’ve pledged to play my cello again this year, I’ve friends who go to the theatre, friends who garden, friends who run through the Peak District.

Emotional rest.

This is a key one for anyone in a caring role – helping others through their emotional life can be draining. Equally if you manage a team there will be something of your emotional life you don’t share, but you support others through their ups and downs. I know I need an emotional rest when I find myself stomping around the house muttering that no one appreciates me! That’s my cue to find space where I can be heard, seen, where I can express myself authentically. For me that’s working with a coach, therapist, my EFT practitioner, or taking time to have a proper conversation with my in house civil servant (which is easier said than done with two children in the house!)

Social rest

This will look different depending on how much you gain energy from others, or feel depleted by it. For me – I top up my battery with social interaction, but not all social interaction is made equal. A true social rest for me is spending time with folk who know me really well, I don’t have to prove anything. I can show up in my exercise clothes and rant about my week and it doesn’t matter. My Friday coffee after school drop off is this in a nut shell.

And finally, spiritual rest.

This is about doing something that gives you purpose. That’s a real coach-y word that can turn folk off, so I use it sparingly. Really it’s about connecting with something bigger than you, that makes you feel like you’re having an impact in the world or that you belong. What spiritual rest looks like depends largely on your belief system and what gives your life meaning.

Seeing rest as lots of different things, rather than just sleep, has helped me think about how I want to spend my downtime and has definitely helped me start 2023 feeling more energised with more space to think.

  • Which kinds of rest are you great at making space for?
  • Which could you do with more of?
  • What might that look like this week?

If you wanted to do a 7 types of rest quiz, there is one, right here. And of course if you’re experiencing ongoing fatigue, please do go and get that checked out by a qualified doctor – fatigue can have many underlying causes.

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